March 2, 2011:
Tomorrow at around 8 a.m., I will be at an airport waiting to go to Los Angeles. I am so excited about it because I have never been there, and I get to see my Uncle Matt again. He also begged me to come; thus, I am going. I have not been to California since I was 12 years old, so experiencing it as an adult would be nice. I may even gain a new experience from and perspective about California. Who knows? I would live there if the cost of living was not so high. Still, taking a vacation there would be a nice break from Ohio. I do not despise Ohio as much as I did six years ago; then again, I have found what I was looking for since then. I found a purpose to my life (for now, even if it is not as grand as it should be) and someone I can love somewhat logically (who is not back in Savannah, GA. Oh yeah! I was raised there, and my being raised there may explain why I am/feel as though I am so different from the others in Ohio). I also have discovered that I am perfectly happy staying with my parents for as long as I can, provided I can support myself. I have hated myself for essentially free-loading from my parents for the last four years. I know I am in college, but I am an adult; therefore, I should be taking care of myself. Alas, I am still using a credit card that my mother pays for, and I rarely need cash from her. The fact that I ask my mother for cash even occasionally bothers me. I even still reluctantly ask my father to take care of my doctor bills and for some of my fare when I travel to go home from his home in St. Louis, MO. Ugh! I am still stuck in the state of dependency.
Xara Nahara O’Connor