by: Xara Nahara O’Connor

I am not myself anymore
I don’t know how you changed me

Yet again I cross your path, and I can’t help but smile
When you walk by
How with each passing glance you change me
From one person to the next
I don’t know how you do it,
But I feel myself becoming less immune to your gaze
How you hypnotize me and convince me
To do your bidding
How I hold your secrets in the locked part of my chest
And how I keep so many, and tell you so many
You make me dizzy inside whenever I see you
My heart races
It’s a secret how I truly feel at the moment
You like me, and I like you
think that…
completes the sentence…
Because I am choking up inside
And I know how you hate how sentimental I get
But… yeah, it doesn’t matter now
Because you’re right here
And I don’t have to be myself anymore
I can’t help but…
To feel this way
Because you could maybe…
Never mind, you’re here,
And it’s all that ever matters to me
I am so taken
I am so entranced
I am so…what’s the word
That accursed phrase I cannot say
How I can’t even tell you,
Because I can’t feel anything
Not in the locked part of my heart
That part I destroyed years ago

After I saw you for the first time
I can’t believe my heart burns
I am not myself anymore


Published by:


I am a graduate of the University of Mount Union. I work for ResCare HomeCare as a direct support professional. I was a psychology major and am hoping to get a master's degree in Business Administration with a concentration on healthcare... Somewhere. I am still interested in English and theatre. Writing had always been one of my passions until recently. It takes too much time and effort, which is why I just draw comics now. Believe it or not, drawing comics is easier for me to express myself than writing. I also love animals. When I am not working hard on whatever project I happen to have my hands on, I am at home playing with my animals. I live with two cats named Garfield and Oreo. I also love to listen to all kinds of music, such as The Birthday Massacre, Emilie Autumn, The Cruxshadows, The Cranberries, Celldweller, Emperor, R.E.M., Future Funk Squad, Symphony X, Einherjer, Borknagar, and Nightwish. And I'm married. But don't tell the government. They suck the fun out of it.

Categories Uncategorized10 Comments

10 thoughts on “Scribbles”

    1. Of course! I have seen your comments on other blogs, but I never made the time to follow you until now. Sorry. Home health care keeps me hella busy. And thank you. I worked on it as a college project my senior year, but many other students weren’t too impressed because they were too busy and wanted to read “short” blogs about my college experience. As if I can wrap up four years of college experience in a few sentences. Pssh… not if I am paying attention anyway .

      1. Good for you. Follow me. I will do everything I can to inspire you to write.
        Nothing can be as wonderful as creating. Art, photos, novels, or poems. Keep writing. I will be happy to read your stuff.

  1. I already follow your blog. Of course. ::nods:: It was one of the first things I did when I saw your “About me.” And thank you. And true. Creativity, whether art or writing, is one of the greatest gifts humanity can provide. ::nods:: I am actually coloring a picture for a client because she can’t eat candy due to her Diabetes. I am adding lots of purple, green, and orange. I LOVE Halloween!

      1. I didnt write. I feel the lines are exactly what i want to write. I don’t consider myself as a writer. I am basically a simple person who is trying to live a normal life. Your writing to suit to common/ and his feeling.

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