You Know You Need Anger Management When….

1.) When you throw electrical cords in your client’s yard because the electrical system in your car doesn’t fucking work

2.) When you beat the ground, your thighs, and even try to tell the poop monster you’ve been creating for five years about how much you DON’T want to go to work tomorrow

3.) When “Why the fuck do wing places sell wings the size of quarters?” will be a chapter in your novel

4.) When you throw your restaurant order across the fucking room because they forgot an item

5.) When you throw a toilet tank out of your guest bathroom window

6.) When you throw random car parts in your apartment complex’s parking lot

7.) When you run over clowns and children on the highway

8.) When you drive through someone’s living room window and run over two people in one minute

9.) When you sing, “Fuck, fuck, fuck the roof. Fuck, fuck, fuck these leaves. Fuck, fuck, fuck this house. Fuck, fuck, fuck all this shit!”

10.) When you jump on the hood of your car because you fucked it up while driving into the guard rail four times because you were MAD at your girlfriend

11.) When you scream, “Where the fuck is my corn?” in the middle of Publix

12.) When you are writing a novel for the sheer purpose of pranking, trolling, mentally-scarring, plagiarizing, immortalizing, being jealous of, and possibly sabotaging another novelist who is actually more talented than you will ever be
13.) When you beat the steering wheel repeatedly

14.) When you throw cat shit in your apartment complex’s parking lot and don’t care to clean it up

15.) When there is a dent on the center of the wheel where the horn is supposed to be

16.) When you write profanity on the roof of your leased car

17.) When you jump on the roof on your car on the side of the highway before you drive into the guard rail a few times

18.) When you growl at the cashier at the convenience store because everything is cash-only

19.) When you spam call the person you’re mad at until the son of a bitch finally answers the damn phone

20.) When you say “You can’t enjoy a cup of coffee because this is what you get” when your parents ask you to do something after you JUST sat down to drink your coffee

21.) When you tear your chew toy the fuck apart because you were so angry with the misappropriation of the English language: “Is you ready?”

22.) When you tear a whole arm the fuck off your couch to pass the time while your curly-haired owner is at work

23.) When you laugh at someone who is going through trauma instead of helping him

24.) When you throw the phone across the room in the office and beat the desk while you are on the phone with a client

25.) When you throw your late wife’s shit out all over the yard before you move out of your house

26.) When you drive 100-140 miles per hour on the highway with the CD player playing “Fuck the police” by N.W.A in the background

27.) When you just don’t fucking want to do anything or go anywhere anymore

28.) When you think about what you would say in an argument that has not happened yet

29.) When you are ready to cuss out your novel because it didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to

30.) When you make a customer service joke while the other service is still being rendered: “I’m sorry, sir. I came all the way out here to look at your problem, but I don’t have the tools to do it until you pay me again to come out a second time to actually FIX said problem.” “That’s customer service for you.”

31.) When you think throwing your boyfriend against a wall is an improvement from throwing him out of a window

32.) When you throw your dirty dishes in the backyard instead of washing them like a normal human being

33.) When you make fun of every ethnicity known to man because fuck everybody

34.) When you write a whole novel based on how much you hate National Novel Writing Month and the rules that go with it

35.) When you make a “rage delete” video on youtube

36.) When you laugh at your partner dying in a video game

37.) When you permaban someone who rightfully corrects you during your stream on TwitchTV

38.) When you are too involved in shit-talking in the fighting game community

39.) When you talk about someone doing the same kick, the same kick, the same kick, for over 30 seconds

40.) When you spend a whole chapter JUST talking about a video game streamer in the youtube and TwitchTV and fighting game communities


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I am a graduate of the University of Mount Union. I work for myself as a housekeeper. My company is named Nicole's Superb Cleaning Services LLC. I was a psychology major and am hoping to cause pain and suffering to Peter W. Parker, the bane of my existence. I am still interested in English and theatre. Writing stories that defy the English language and troll Peter W. Parker is my passion. I used to draw comics, but I had a comic artist block, so now I troll Peter W. Parker with my stories. I also love animals. When I am not working hard on whatever project I happen to have my hands on, I am at home playing with my animals. I live with two cats named Garfield and Kissy. I also love to listen to all kinds of music, such as The Birthday Massacre, Emilie Autumn, The Cruxshadows, The Cranberries, Celldweller, Emperor, R.E.M., Future Funk Squad, Symphony X, Einherjer, Borknagar, and Nightwish. And I'm married. But don't tell the government. They suck the fun out of it.

Categories inappropriate humor, languageTags , , , , , , , , 5 Comments

5 thoughts on “You Know You Need Anger Management When….”

  1. The government here too is no fun!
    Garfield and Oreo.
    My fur babies are Leo, Snosey, Jag and Elsa.
    My feather babies are Miss Elizabeth and Mr Darcy.
    …and I feed the ferals at work. They are gorgeous and rightfully apprehensive when they see humans. Some humans are not good people.

    1. The government has gone to the dogs. Also, my Oreo passed away on December 11, 2018. Garfield is alive and well and has a new sister named Kissy.

      Where do you work? Your animals sound precious. Humans are mostly irritating.

      1. I’m here in KwaZulu-Natal. I’m working with architects and engineers…
        Im sorry about Oreo.
        I lost my two labradors so know that gut wrenching pain.
        For the oxygen thieves, we need Thanos.

  2. Oh nice! I’m not that smart. I’m a housekeeper who is forced to be nice to her technologically-challenged boss for 122 more days until she can return to her trolly self.

    I miss our animals.

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