No End In Sight

People watch me drown and stare in light.

I swim and swim and swim, but there’s no land in sight.

Just more black water, more muscle aches, more cramping

Never-ending chill, no longer a thrill

People watch and stare in their seacrafts and never throw enough rope

I keep slipping back in black waves of sorrow, no matter how I pull at the morrow

I swim to save the drowning. My arms and legs grow tired. It’s hard to breathe under this sea of impossibility. Everything. Is. Out. Of. Reach.

I shake and pray that one day a riptide will take away my pain

Others are blind to know how it hurts me to continue this hellish whirlwind of manifested loneliness and animosity, lack of trust. I no longer have strength to endure these interpersonal dilemmas. The things I wanted most in life are gone.

Resentment, bitterness, frustration, hatred, heartache are all I know. I try to show love and kindness through the darkness I endure. I try empathy, love, compassion to show my strength even though I’m wounded

One day, I will swim into the shark’s mouth. Beg him to kill my pain. I’d do (almost) anything to murder my pain.

I pray he does the world a favor